republished deleted episodes. but i realized i'm missing episode nine. if anyone has it i would really appreciate somehow obtaining it again.

I'm sorry for building you up, buttercups, and then letting you down.

I found myself singing the song (is it called "build me up buttercup"?) while doing the laundry today and then got on the computer and realized why it popped into my head, it would seem, without provocation.

I need to do this podcast, but I don't know what to say, and I've already let everyone down so much that they probably don't care if I ever put out another show. But I'll figure out something. I must.

I start my waitressing job Tuesday.

:(

obviously, there was no podcast.

This year has been pretty bad for me. but i'm featured in the yearbook, which comes out monday, which is scary.

I got a brand new computer, a macbook, once my retarded old compaq broke down finally, so I FINALLY have the equiptment to record a podcast before my computer SHUTS DOWN on me. but i'm very stressed out and busy at the moment. Only a few more days of school, and then I look forward to a great summer of podcasting.

i have a choir concert to be at in approximately 8 minutes, but I'll be in touch, i promise.

Meanwhile, I was composing a choral song (finished!), getting the highest score on the PSAT in the junior class at my school, and riding my new bike around. Just thought I'd let you in on those wonderful factoids :).

oh dear whoever-reads-this, i am still alive. i'm sorry for breaking my promise to podcast more frequently. but i'm failing two classes. not because of this podcast, but because i threw way too much time away on pointless things like the school newspaper and attempting to be a regular kid instead of doing my math homework. finals are this week. i'm out of school thursday if i do okay on all of them. hope to see you thursday-ish, because i have so muchhhh gooood music to play :\!

If everyone, stupid, intelligent, whatever; is allowed to speak, theories might be easily organized according to whatever motivated them: right and wrong. I can't classify everything. Nobody's opinion is definitive. But I want to know how people think. I want to know why I think the way I think. I want to know how to change the way people think about the things they don't think about. I want my way of thinking to be challenged. I want people to think in general. So will you please argue?! discuss?! listen?! have an opinion?! Otherwise, none of us will ever know what's smart and what's not.

I'm not going to lie. I'm extremely curious about everything. I feel like I have to theorize about it all, because I don't know how else to sort the world out. I am not smart. I am pretty ridiculous sometimes. And I don't know what else to do about this, really, except absorb everything I possibly can.

Despite the uninformative nature of this post, I hope you didn't mind it.

I haven't checked my stats in months... and I don't plan on doing it anytime soon. I am really either going to get my heart broken or become really scared. So I'm not going to do anything. I'm just going to keep on keeping on.

I knew my instincts about file sharing (that it's morally Right sometimes) were not shameful! Um, if that doesn't quite make sense, I'll explain it on the next episode.

This little article makes me happy. Come on, the record industry needs some reform.

I also wanted to let you know that I'm getting set to do the podcast once per week, and I'll try to get it uploaded by sunday at midnight, just like the word nerds, because they inspire me so. plus it makes just a hell of a lot more sense. for me. and I'm gonna try to play four songs per show.

there's more I wanted to say, I think, but I forgot whatever it was. I'll edit this post if I remember.

somehow, this got deleted from the blog. i'm pretty freaked out. i know it wasn't a great podcast, but man.

here's what my entry said, because i'm learning not to get defeated by the internet, or by the mothereffers on it. did I infringe some copyright law? this is just weird. I had a pretty cool picture up here but I don't feel happy enough to put it back. maybe that's what I did wrong, stole photography?

belaire, vinyl dharma, i love you baby!, and castor & pollux and the gemini fanclub

I talk about the issue I have with the word, "chonger."

eric whitacre

my infamous portrait of nashla with a gazillion hits

"why are all the black kids sitting together in the cafeteria?" and other conversations about race by beverly daniel tatum

blink by malcolm gladwell

frappr map! put yourself on here right now!!

other good things I forgot to mention that are way awesome: the bicycle diaries - is it possible to live in america without a car? uh, sort of. by bill gifford

"We all have a sphere of influence. Each of us needs to find our own sources of courage so that we will begin to speak. There are many problems to address, and we cannot avoid them indefinately. We cannot continue to be silent. We must begin to speak, knowing that words alone are insufficient. But I have seen that meaningful dialogue can lead to effective action. Change is possible. I remain hopeful." - Beverly Daniel Tatum

FOR THE LAST FOUR HOURS I have been trying to upload this stinkin' file. I don't think it's libsyn, but I tried CoffeeCup like I usually try to do and it wouldn't stay connected to the FTP server, then I tried the regular ol' libsyn way and that sat there for an hour and 7 minutes and I don't think it's supposed to do that. And then, I tried the CoffeeCup again and it ALMOST worked! but it only uploaded 21 megs and the file is twenty-FOUR megs... I'll burn it to a cd and bring it over to this computer (the family computer in the living room)...

made the 11th podcast, but I talk for about 10 minutes straight. no, longer, I think. It was an important topic to me, but still, I don't know what to do. I am way too sleepy to determine the right thing to do. I will listen to it in the morning and if it's not too ridiculous I'll post it asap. sorry for the big, humungous delay.